Write 2 to 3 short sentences. Name the person. Name the problem. State one belief. Offer one specific help. This formula fits most cards.
Example: 'Sam, I know the job search is long. I believe you will find a good role. I will review your resume on Tuesday.'
The 4-part formula
Each part has a job.
- Name the person. Use their first name. This shows the card is not generic.
- Name the problem. Use a specific noun. 'The surgery' beats 'your health issue.' 'The layoff' beats 'your situation.'
- State one belief. Use 'I believe' or 'I know.' Example: 'I believe you can pass the exam.'
- Offer one specific help. Use a verb and a time. Example: 'I will bring dinner on Friday at 6 p.m.'
Examples by situation
Illness
'Rosa, the treatment takes 6 weeks. I believe your strength will carry you. I will drive you to the clinic on Monday.'
Job loss
'Ben, the layoff was not your fault. I know your work ethic. I will send you 3 job leads this week.'
Grief
'Maya, I cannot fix this loss. I am here. I will sit with you on Saturday.'
New baby
'Chris, the first 3 months are hard. You are a good parent. I will drop off meals on Tuesday and Thursday.'
Graduation
'Ava, you finished 4 years of study. I believe you will do well in nursing. I will celebrate with you on May 20.'
Length and tone
Keep the message under 50 words. Longer notes can feel like lectures. Write in plain language. Use active verbs. Avoid adverbs. Read the card aloud. If a sentence sounds like a slogan, cut it.
Words to avoid
Some phrases can hurt. Do not write 'Everything happens for a reason.' Do not write 'It could be worse.' Do not write 'Just stay positive.' These lines dismiss the problem. The person may feel unheard.